Après Adam here with step 8 of my 12-Step Program for Après-Ski Conditioning. I’m here to help you have the best après-ski season of your life!
Step 8: Costume Up!
Halloween is quickly approaching and if you're anything like me, you’ve probably put off planning your costume until a few days before Halloween Weekend. I’m here to share a few reasons why a ski-themed costume might not be such a bad idea:
- You are socially expected have a costume. Your Instagram followers are dying to see a glimpse of your non-ski life, and a rad Halloween costume is a great opportunity to bring authenticity and accessibility to your Insta-brand.
- Costume stores are expensive and overwhelming. All the good costumes are sold out or played out, by October 1st anyway. You’ll be left piecing together scraps and wind up going out as an overpriced "sexy-ninja-vampire-zombie."
- Modern pop-culture costumes rarely stand the test of time. What would you rather find in your gaper gear storage bin? A four-year-old Saucer Boy costume? Or a Jagermeister-stained Honey Boo Boo tutu and matching tiara?
- Unless you majored in Arts and Crafts (which could explain why you’re still a 38-year old liftie), anything you make at home is going to look either:
- a) Super lame
- b) like you’re trying way too hard
- c) or, as if your mom made it. And you will be going home... alone... again.
- Living in a ski town is expensive. And unless you plan on leaving your non-essentials in a former roommate's basement all winter, ask yourself: "what am I going to do with the what’s left of my costume on November 1st?" Answer: Be resourceful. Go green and find a costume that can be reused or recycled. Or go full hipster and call it reclaimed or repurposed.
A well planned ski-themed costume clearly states: I’m not completely inept at planning. I’m mostly here to ski, but I’m also not afraid of a good time.
That is why I strongly recommend going with a ski-themed Halloween costume this Hallow’s Eve. While Opening Day, Gaper Day, Clown Day, April Fools Day, Pond Skim Day, Frank, Closing Day at We Always Close a Week Early Mountain Resort, Real Closing Day, and Closing Day at Rock Ski and Hike Down Mountain require very little costume planning beyond throwing on a bunch of random old ski clothes, goofy hats, neon accessories, and gear from your Gaper Day box, Halloween is different.
It’s important to have a precise character in mind and commit.
So when that cute guy or girl you’ve been stalking on social media all summer comes up and asks, "what are you supposed to be?", you have something better to say than “umm, I’m a skier from the 80’s… with a jester hat from the 90’s… 70’s style aviators… last year's goggles... oh, and this brand new ironic onesie from that Elf website that every frat bro on a ski trip was wearing last winter.”
Having a specific character can lead to the ultimate ski town pick-up line: “You’ve never seen Hot Dog: The Movie? You can't call yourself a skier if you haven't seen it. I have a copy I found at a thrift store on VHS back at my place if you’re not doing anything later...”
Here’s a thorough, yet incomplete list of ski and snowboard themed Halloween costumes that you can always recycle or repurpose on Gaper Day:
Hollywood Skiers and Snowboarders:
Hot Dog: The Movie.
- Harkin Banks - Blue jacket, white goggles, racing bib
- Sylvia Fonda - blue partially unzipped Descente onesie, blue goggles, white belt
Aspen Extreme.
- Dexter Rutecki - Orange (Mt. Brighton) hat, old goggles, grey Carhartt and jeans.
- TJ Burke - Headband, aviators and a thrift store Descente jacket or vest.
- Bryce Kellogg - Stretch pants and a furry headband
-
Dumb and Dumber
Better Off Dead
- Lane Meyer - Striped sweater and grey vest, carry around one ski and cutout of Beth’s face.
- Charles - Black pea coat and top hat.
The Spy Who Loved Me
- James Bond - Yellow onesie, yellow goggles, red backpack, and a martini shaker.
Ski Patrol
- Suicide - Two masks, glasses, and lots of neon
Johnny Tsunami
South Park - Asspen
- Thumper - Red kit, blue headband, yellow boots, Pizza and french fries as props.
Jerry of the Day
- Jeans, thrift store jacket, backward helmet, upside-down goggle, GoPro's
The Ski Free Monster
- I have no idea, but this person nailed it
10th Mountain Division
- All white outfits and guns, (easily confused with Trump Supporter Costume)
Famous Skiers and Snowboarders:
Stein Eriksen
- Ski sweater, tight pants, safety goggles
Glen Plake
- Mohawk wig, sunglasses, neon
Danny Davis
- Jesus wig and beard, hat, and a patriotic sweater
Warren Miller
- Bald wig, old school ski jacket, old school video camera
The Afterglow Skiers
- Modern ski clothes with a bunch of string lights wrapped around it
Lindsey Vonn
- Red Bull beanie, blonde wig, USA flag, gold medals, and champagne
Thrift stores are a great place to start looking for a costume. In the Salt Lake and Park City areas, check out the Deseret Industries (aka the D.I.), The Park City Christian Center, and Savers on 3300 South. You should be able to find a couple of costume pieces to start kicking around some ideas upstairs. Supplement thrift store finds by borrowing from friends or family. Use Amazon.com for the hard-to-find essentials. Sign up for a sample Prime membership for free two-day shipping, because you’re a procrastinator and paying for shipping sucks.
